Rebuilding Life After Divorce

By Lori V Woodward

Tip One: Ensure You Use The Oxygen Mask Method First
In an airline takeoff, the flight attendants will provide instruction that in the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and that adults should always use the oxygen mask prior to placing one on their children. This is to ensure that the adult stays conscious and able to function. Life after divorce follows the same principles. Martyr syndrome, where you are always putting everyone else above your own legitimate needs will only ruin your confidence and render you unable to care for either yourself or your children.

Tip Two: Gain Social Support
Family and friends are more than critical to help you survive this traumatic time. Divorce is rated amongst many of the most stressful times of a person’s life. Social support is critical in helping an individual transition through a highly unsettling event. Friends can provide unconditional support, and family provide a comfort during emotional upheaval following a divorce. Sometimes friends fall away because they side with the other person during the event, and this can be saddening, and feel like betrayal. Never take it personally, former friends of the marriage are going through their own grief, and find it difficult to adjust. This is the time where developing new friendships is important. Social support forums are an excellent avenue for discovering new friends.

Tip Three: Psychological Counseling
A good therapist can help you deal with the grief associated with a marriage relationship falling apart. Counseling therapies are excellent to help you look at ways of coping functionally, and helping you to explore the feelings associated with the loss of a primary relationship. It can be difficult to open up and trust again another person, especially a significant other, and fear can hold you back from opening up completely to another person. It is important to address these fears with a counselor, and if you do enter into another relationship, counseling for both parties will help transition you into a successful future foundation.

Tip Four: Take Time Out To Recover
Divorce causes significant emotional distress, and can lead to depression if not addressed properly. A lifestyle that is well balanced, and includes adequate recreation to promote enjoyment of life will help negate the negativity that has resulted from a marriage breakdown. Hobbies can be revisited, or new activities explored, and these provide a buffer against any feelings of emotional distress, because the focus is on enjoyment rather than any past memories that can induce a state of distress.

Tip Five: Take Care Of Yourself Physically
Divorce can not only take its toll emotionally but physically. Between dealing with angry ex partners and stressed out children, talking to lawyers and sorting out property settlement and custody, a person can become easily emotionally overwhelmed. To counter this it is incredibly important to relax, to rest, to eat adequate nutrition, to perform daily gentle exercise and to get adequate sleep.

Always Darkest Before the Dawn is a story about rebuilding life after divorce, and how people can gain hope and rebalance and enjoy life once again after the breakdown of a marriage.

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